Spookymilk Sheeple: Day ∞ – Also, 2017 Final Standings!

Well, that’s just funny.

After a very long, protracted endgame (this is not an ideal game to play over the holidays, when I’m not able to access an actual computer at home very often), Pope and Viola have ended the game in a tie.

There are plenty of reasons for this game’s weird pace, but owning my portion of it, I’m sorry that it took so long for me to move to multiple moves a day. Like I said, I was unable to access a computer at home most evenings, and editing on the phone proved to be “adventurous”, if I’m being overly kind to myself. Combined with the fairly low turnout, the odd glut of people in the middle, and the alliance that ended up wiping out a big chunk of people very quickly, it ended up taking WAY too long. Sorry ’bout that.

This next month is the Royal Rumble, which Spooky puts on every year. I don’t THINK I’m counting the rumble towards the overall standings. If that’s the case, Sheeple marked the end of the 2017 season. Here are the (probably) final standings:

1. Spookymilk 15.5 *
2. Violabenice 14.5 *
3. Annette 14 *
4. mbnovak 8 *
5. Pope 7.5 *
6. Beau 5.5
7. Melissa 4 *
8. Ashton 4
9. Todahshy 4
10. Inkarnit 3 *
11. Brooks 3 *
12. KG 1
13. Eschapp 1
14. Colin Prime 1
15. Zee Germans 1
16. DreadPirate 0.5

Melissa got 7th seed because of her automatic entry. Ashton beat Todah in a coin flip (which doesn’t really matter since they’re playing each other, anyway). Inkarnit beat Brooks in a coin flip. KG, Eschapp, Colin Prime, and Zee Germans were ordered this way by Random.org)

I’ll be in touch with the 16 people above sometime this month to let them know what’s up for the tournament.


November CTJ Game

Decision time!

I was thinking Sheeple, maybe? What does everyone else think?

Current Standings! An asterisk denotes automatic berth into the year end tournament, though it seems very likely that at the very least every with more than one point will gain entry.


1. Annette 13 *
2. Spookymilk 12.5 *
3. Violabenice 10 *
4. mbnovak 8 *
5. Melissa 4 *
5. Todahshy 4
5. Ashton 4
8. Beau 3.5
9. Pope 3
9. Inkarnit 3 *
9. Brooks 3 *
12. Eschapp 1
12. KG 1
12. Colin Prime 1
12. Zee Germans 1
16. DreadPirate 0.5

While we’re talking about the year end tournament, what do you think? Said tournament will likely involve multiple smaller games in a sort of single elimination bracket. It’ll be fun (I’ve got some cool stuff planned), but it may not be everyone’s idea of good timing, with the holidays. Let me know what you think.

Sheeple is Done!

Here’s the link, so you can see who won!

Spoiler: Pope won. Once I saw the initial placements I had him in my top 3. Once he became a part of the dominant alliance, I had him as my winner.

I think I needed more powerups, but the placement just happened to be in lots of places where no one was, and there were a couple that got danced all around (that LMM would’ve changed things considerably for Higgs or Annette.)

So! Chat it up below. This was fun to watch, and fun to run.

Also, what should we do next? And when?

Spookymilk Sheeple: Day the First

This is where the game is played. In the finest tradition of this website, it is a spreadsheet.

Today, your mission is to send me the coordinates of where you would like to place your sheep. Send the coordinates to pabruzek@hotmail.com (NOT Spooky’s email – he’s playing, so he’d probably be perfectly happy if you did send stuff to him). The rest of the game will start tomorrow. I’m pretty sure that we’ll be taking the weekends off, but if you guys have a hunger to keep going, I won’t stick fast to that.

Full rules are under the jump. I’ll be randomly placing the powers AFTER initial placement, so that no one randomly lucks into superpowers before the game has even started.

Email me at pabruzek@hotmail.com if you have any questions. I’ll try to answer them as quickly as possible.

Continue reading

Well, Hey There.

According to Annette, we should play Spookymilk Sheeple. I agree with her on this.

Discuss, and tell a friend or three.

People Who Want to Play Sheeple Sometime Soon
Melissa Diamond Phillips IV, esq.

February Game: Sheeple

I should have had this up earlier, but here we are.  Sign up quick, y’hear? Rules are copied and pasted from last year.


The twenty players are sheep, confined to a 15×15 grid. The shepherd is trying to catch nineteen of the sheep for some disgusting purpose. It’s best not to think about that too much – just concentrate on not getting caught, yes?

So, the shepherd- we’ll call him Todd Karner – has some work to do. In order to catch the sheep, he has to build fences in between spaces on the grid- say, between F3 and F4, or between A1 and B1. A sheep has to be confined to one square to be caught- Todd isn’t very fast, and he’s rather clumsy. Also, not very bright- Todd will only build the fences where the sheep tell him to!

Movement and rules-
– The sheep are placed on the grid. If players attempt to set up on the same space, the mod will randomly move one of them over to an open space (Note: this happened with Annette. Everyone else got their intended space).
– The sheep can move in any direction (including diagonals), one space per turn. You can choose to sit still on any given turn.
– Each player must have Todd build one fence per turn- vertical or horizontal. When players send turns, it should have their move (or the announcement that they’re sitting still) and the build. Simply call out the build as “between A3 and A4,” or whatever.
-The outer edge of the grid is a fence. Duh.
– A fence can’t be built in a spot that is already fenced. Attempting to do so will confuse Todd, and he won’t build a fence for you that turn.
– If two or more players ask to build a fence in the same spot in the same turn, Todd will build it.
– If two players attempt to move to the same space or try to cross one another, neither will move. However, one player can take the place of another, if “another” heads off in another direction.
– Players cannot pass through fences diagonally. None of the four relevant walls can be fenced if a diagonal move is to be successful.
– Order of play is move, then build fences. However, each move and build will be a single “turn” in one email. Power-ups can be played as outlined below.

There are twenty-four power-ups hidden on the grid. Their placement is random. The mod will keep power-ups secret. All power-ups are one-time use.

Nine of each of these-
– “Wild Oats” – this power-up forces the player to move two spots their next turn, whether they want to or not. Moving back to their starting square is allowed.
– “FREEDOM!” – This allows a player to jump over a fence during their move phase whenever he or she wants to use it, but only if the fence does not completely encircle them.

Only three of these-
– “Shep the sheepdog”- These allow a player to push another player one spot in any direction (not through a fence, though). This nullifies the target’s intended move. Also can be used at any desired time.
– “Lean Mutton Morgan’s Special Friend” – If a player discovers Lean’s hiding spot on the grid, Lean will move his new pal to any spot on the grid.. This can be played at the start of the turn, before any other actions, or immediately after the player moves and before fences are built. This one has a time limit: the player must use it in the number of turns equal to the number of players left when it’s found, not to exceed ten turns. It’s probably too powerful, but whatever.

No powers are transferable.

Once a player is fenced into one square, they are captured and will make no further moves. This will probably grind to a halt when two players are left, but that’s a risk I’ll take.

POINTS: You get five points if you’re last place, and five additional for everyone you outlast. If you nonsub, you will be immediately chucked from the challenge and will get the same number of points as the previously eliminated person. If you go out at the same time as someone, you’ll split the difference, rounding up. So if two people go first together, instead of 5 and 10, each will get 8 points.

This could take a while. I’ll take that risk. We’ll play on weekdays and skip weekends unless it looks brutal; if it goes long, and I think it could, we’ll figure out how to deal with it.

Drake Constantinople’s Running Sheeple Commentary: Part Three(?)

If you are like me, Sheeple fans, you do a few things as you watch this game. You admire the unintentional artistry of the board, you think back on how everyone’s moves have gone, and as each new move goes up you look at the unlikely surviving sheep and think “what the hell kind of moves are these?!?!”

Of course, I may just be a little grouchy because I had a duck staying on my couch last week. He showed up at the door, quacking something about us being friends, it being my fault that he was even in this reality, and something about some bird face scientist cutting his allowance. Whatever. I’m kind of a pushover, so I let him stay, and of course he was always getting something from the refrigerator, and smelling up the bathroom, and using my laptop. Now my Firefox history lists a site called ladyonduck.com THAT I REFUSE TO CLICK ON! Anyway, Drake’s been gone for three days, so let’s check out the action on the board.


Day of changes. Greekhouse made his first move in four days. Dread Pirate managed to finish slipping the noose that he nearly blundered his way into. AMR, with the help of a Wild Oats, similarly bought himself some time. kg2005, in spite of having been hemmed in for some time, survived another day. The lower corner became more crowded as it became the only open space available to five sheep. In spite of that, Margaret assumed the lotus position and calmly meditated in place.


kg2005 ran out of room, and a four day long sheep-trapping expedition finally ended. AMR survived, but was running out of luck. The bottom corner, while largely uneventful, looked poised to burst into a sheep slaughter at any moment. Dread Pirate, Greekhouse , and Todahshy were all grouped together. To survive and thrive in this situation requires team effort and coordination, but I’m sure they are up to the challenge, right? Of course they are. Both Margaret and Annette moved to the outer fence, putting themselves in danger. Will anyone capitalize on that fact? To find out, you’ll have to wait until


Nobody did capitalize on that fact, although it was a nailbiter. Both Margaret and Annette moved themselves into safer positions. I suppose they were looking for power-ups, even though at this point the chances of anyone having one or coming across one are so slim that it doesn’t seem worth looking for them. Survival seems like it would be the key goal now, the luck needed for anything else is too high. And so AMR, having played a pretty good game – HOLY SHIT LEAN MUTTON MORGAN! Did you see that?!?! – proved that no matter smart you are, it’s better to be lucky. Greekhouse and Dread Pirate, on the other hand, attempted to move to the same spot, and ended up right back where they were before. Freealonzo, for reasons that I suppose are only known to Freealonzo, moved into the corner. And once again, the bottom corner looks ripe for a bloodbath.

This game looks like it might move quickly till the end of the month, Sheeple watchers. If you’re not excited now, then you are apparently too good to enjoy the killing of imaginary, barely even virtual sheep. So la-di-da to you. I’ll see you again soon, maybe with a game wrap-up, unless I don’t.

Drake Constantinople’s Running Commentary: Sheeple, Week 3

From The Increasingly Less Private Diary of Drake Constantinople

I was asked to investigate a cyberdimensional animal blood sport known as Sheeple. Several of the lab scientists have become fascinated with the game, and I think management was concerned about the potential ethical conflict of working with animals in the lab and animal blood sports. I went to investigate alone, because the Raven-haired Scientist doesn’t care for sports of any kind, and finds inter-dimensional travel to be disconcerting.

The game was well underway when I arrived. For those unfamiliar with the game, it is a slowest moving melee you’ve ever seen, with sheep directing the building of fences while simultaneously attempting to avoid having a fence built around them. Any sheep that is fenced into a small enough square instantly dies, although the method of killing is strange. Apparently sheep simply cannot abide the claustrophobia of a small space, and that is what kills them. Many people that protest the game believe that the farmer building the fences must be killing them, but that is ridiculous. The sheep are just claustroed to death.

The first day I flew over the field, and attempted to talk to the sheep that had survived the game so far, to see if I could get any idea of how they felt about the game. Try as I might, though, I could barely get any acknowledgement of my existence. I am not certain if I did not make much of an impression in this cyberdimension, or if I am simply uninteresting to these sheep, but I was unable to interview them.

I did witness several kills, though, as the sheep labeled “Beau” and “ESchapp” were dispatched. The deaths were surprisingly unspectacular, with the dead sheep simply keeling over, but still, they left an impression. I don’t believe that I could ever use the word “noble” to describe sheep, but at least they didn’t moan and cry in the manner that their species is known for.

The next day brought another two deaths, of the sheep known as “Miriam” and “Daneekasghost.” I went in for a closer look, and settled near DG. There was a plaque on the fence that I hadn’t noticed from above that said “SURVIVED TEN DAYS LONGER THAN HE SHOULD”. Underneath that it said “Hey, why’s everybody looking at me? I’m not dangerous. I can’t do anything to you. Look, it’s Novak! Get him!” I felt as if I recognized this sheep, but from where? And how did this sheep survive so long?

Unfortunately, these were mysteries that would have to go uninvestigated, as they did not fall into the purview of the investigation of this game.

The next few days no sheep were caught, but there were some amusing highlights. I nearly quacked myself to death when two sheep walked into each other and fell back on their original spots. At one point, while I was sitting on the fence at the edge of the field, I counted three sheep leap in the air over fences that nearly encircled them; I had to try not to fall asleep at that point.

As I write this, eight sheep are left. My official report will state that I find no ethical problem with the game. If this were tried in non-cyberdimensions, there might be an ethical problem, but in order to get to that point you would have to breed hyper-intelligent sheep, and that would be an ethical conflict itself. There is no reason to assume that these cyber animals have any sort of meaningful being, and I think that management can rest easy.

Big Papa’s Running Commentary: Sheeple, Week Two

Friends, welcome to an exciting new feature at CJ that may or may not appear exactly one time. We’ll see, I guess.

El Poperino has, in the absence of being able to play anything, written up a running commentary on the second week of Sheeple that mostly hinges on guesswork and tomfoolery. He doesn’t know which parts are true and which are not, as although he sees the moves, he doesn’t see any emails.



Hello, Sheeple fans. After last week’s thrilling finish, can anything match the sheer drama of Brooks’ hail mary revenge plot against Novak? Probably not, but let’s check out the action highlights anyway.

Monday was a heartbreaker. The sheep, reeling as if drunk with power, made a number of inexplicable moves. AMR and his henchmen… er, henchsheep, turned the full power of their alliance rather bafflingly against the most noble sheep the grid has ever known, as they directed Todd the shepherd to build in a coordinated pattern, removing Big Papa and Nibbish. MelissaD and Eschapp both escaped their respective fences, Melissa using a Lean Mutton Morgan and Eschapp using Freedom!. Kudos to them on their lucky escapes.

Tuesday was a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing. MelissaD came under real fire from Adobery and associates, but they were not able to encircle her completely. For her part, Melissa went after Daneekasghost, who was not yet eliminated.

Wednesday saw Adobery meet his goal of eliminating Melissa, as well as meet his fate. It seems that Cutthroat Junction’s favorite Cain and Abel act were at it again, with Beau in the role of Cain this time. He used a Sheepdog Shep to push Adobes into place, while contracting the Dread Pirate and his privateers to build the needed fences. Ironically, Beau also helped his brother to eliminate Melissa. That’s how you play both sides of the fence!

Thursday saw the elimination of Funkomatic, notable only because of how long it took to accomplish, and the pointlessness of the endeavor. More interesting was the elimination of Brooks! Is what the previous sentence would have said, had the elimination of Brooks not been botched. In spite of the use of a Sheepdog Shep against him, Farmer Todd was directed to build a fence in the wrong place. Once again we see why the name Brooks Maki adorns the sidebar so frequently. BHiggum and Eschapp ended the day in peril.

Friday! BHiggum, out of powers and out of pasture to roam, chose to sit and hope nobody would notice him. It did not work, and another sheep carcass litters the fenced in ground. There was a failed attempt on the life of Beau, and Eschapp used his second Freedom! of the game, and remains free to roam, for now. No attempt was made to finish off Brooks, in spite of the small amount of resources needed to accomplish the task.

That’s the week, Sheep and Shepherds. One group grows stronger while the other seems destined to slowly be sapped of its power. Several free agents go under-utilized. What will the coming week bring? How long will this game go on? Will I ever write more commentary about it? Only time will tell.